UNOBTANIUM???!!!???)

I used to go to the movies a lot. It passes the time, and I find the darkness, frigid air, and quasi-futuristic seating to be conducive to napping. Several years ago, however, it occurred to me that paying $12.00 to sleep through the latest Harry Potter movie was not a good use of my resources, and so I all but ceased movie-going. I would periodically accept invitations from friends seeking a cinema companion, but those invitations were few and far between; my vocal hatred of whatever movie happened to be playing seemed to rub people the wrong way.

Avatar changed everything. I didn’t even pay to see it; my friend had an extra ticket. In fact, had the theater not been so loud and crowded, I would have snoozed for a few hours and gone home happy. Sadly, circumstances were such that I watched, and subsequently decided to boycott the movies.

It takes a really shitty film to destroy the theater-going experience forever, and an even shittier film to accomplish that feat while being essentially free of cost. Avatar was just such a film. I don’t feel the need to rehash all of the inanities (UNOBTANIUM???!!!???) and the trauma they caused, but I do feel the need to explain myself in a public forum. Well, a public forum that is for all intents and purposes private. In any case, my boycott is the reason I don’t want to go see a movie with you. It’s not because I don’t like you, although there’s a good chance I don’t. It’s because of James Cameron. Fuck that guy.