Shaken, not stirred

I have so much to say, mostly on the degree of culpability of criminals who are, or have the mental capacity of, children. Sadly, my time recently has been spent preparing for an audit at work, to say nothing of preparing for applying to law school in the coming months, so I’m going to keep this brief. What inane thought process resulted in a hurricane named Earl? Hurricanes should not sound avuncular; they should sound terrifying. From here on out, and in what I hope will become a trend, I’m going to name hurricanes and other tropical storms after Bond villains. Hurricane Earl has therefore been retitled, “Hurricane Ernst Stavro Blofeld.” Not only that, but in determining an explanation for the spate of hurricanes we’ve faced in recent years, we should no longer blame global warming, which sounds kind of nice and, as such, has failed to inspire the appropriate level of fear. Because shadowy groups of super-villains never fail to capture the public imagination, “global warming” will now be called “SPECTRE.” I hope you’ll join me and my ever-loyal Moneypenny (previously known as my dog) in our bid to make the world a better place.