Musings as "Lost" comes to an end

From the moment Lost came on the air, I knew there was a distinct possibility it would go the way of Twin Peaks. After all, artfully constructing a mystery is no mean feat, but artfully dismantling it is damn near impossible. I always kind of thought Lost would succeed where Twin Peaks had failed, but I’ve since revised my opinion. Last night’s episode was a return to form in some respects, but it’s still going to take one mind-blowing extravaganza of a finale for Lost to redeem itself.

The first time I really allowed myself to acknowledge the show’s failure was after last week’s episode, which I found upsettingly reminiscent of Avatar. For those of you fortunate enough to have missed Avatar, it’s essentially a remake of Fern Gully aimed at a less mature audience. Three hours of blue hominids with fetal alcohol syndrome gallivanting about an Earth-like planet, set against a backdrop of ham-fisted environmental allegory. It is undoubtedly the goofiest flick to be up for a Best Picture Oscar since Titanic. James Cameron should probably stop making movies.

Anyway, I could rant about Avatar for hours, but since I’m having trouble coming up with any concrete similarities between the Lost episode in question and that 3D calamity of a movie it would probably behoove me to show a little restraint. Perhaps the only real similarity is that both sucked.

And Jesus Christ did that Avatar-esque episode suck. I don’t even know where to start. I suppose the episode’s introduction of the light at the center of the island would be a good jumping off point. On a purely visual level it looked astonishingly amateurish. Pair that with the fact that its only real property thus far appears to be the ability to transform a weird human into a weird monster and you have a recipe for viewer disappointment. This is the center of the island, the impetus behind everything that’s happened over the past 6 seasons, the very reason anyone is on the island at all, and it yet it’s the answer to nothing.

Yes, we now know on a basic level what Jacob means when he talks about protecting the island and after last night’s episode we know that Jack has volunteered (what a fucking surprise) to be the new Jacob, but the writers have evaded all of the fundamental questions. What is the light? Why is it important? If humans are trying to steal or destroy it, why? If they’re trying to mine it for resources, what exactly are those resources? What is the light’s relationship to the electromagnetism? Who discovered it and how? And most importantly, where did it come from?

Where did it come from? That’s the question I keep asking myself. Lost has fallen into an infinite regress trap and I don’t think they’re going to be able to pull out. A few weeks ago, we were all wondering where Jacob and the Man in Black came from. Now we have a sense of their past, but we don’t know where the fuck that bitch from the West Wing came from. This is as frustrating as debating a theist.

Q: Where did the universe come from?
A: God.
Q: Where did God come from?
A: Always has been, always will be, blah, blah, blah.

That answer conveniently wraps things up since it invokes the incomprehensible concepts of both eternity and infinity, but reveals the nature of neither. So where did that bitch from the West Wing come from? Always has been, always will be.

OK, I’d like to wrap up by moving away from all this esoteric mumbo jumbo. The real honest-to-god reason the show has failed is that they’ve spent five seasons procrastinating. So many questions remained after season 5, and now they’re just shooting answers at us whenever and wherever they can. In this litany of resolutions, each individual answer has fallen flat. Whispers? Dead souls that can’t escape the island. Thank god Hurley pieced that one together based on absolutely no evidence. Man in Black, did you pose as Jack’s father? Yes. Try a little suspense next time.

One last unanswered question: Did Ben and Rousseau get it on in the alternate timeline?