Jumping the Shark with Clint Eastwood

At what point did Republicans officially jump the shark? The question is hard to answer, because jumping the shark – a “Happy Days” reference, I believe, involving the Fonz, his motorcycle, and a shark tank – no longer seems like an apt metaphor. If you jump the shark, you’ve lost the plot and need to be redirected. Inherent in this is an attachment to reality, or at least the potential for a re-attachment. Republicans are past this. They’re jumping the Loch Ness Monster on a unicorn.

The thing that continues to astound me is that people are still listening, still taking seriously the insanity Republicans vomit day after day. There’s a new frontrunner for the presidential nomination every 6 hours, and each and every one of them is explicitly promising to turn our presently dysfunctional society into a veritable dystopia. They scoff at the idea that we should create jobs through investment in the nation’s infrastructure, an infrastructure so astoundingly awful that it has received a D grade from the American Society of Civil Engineers; simply put, they say, we don’t have that kind of money, so our roads, bridges, public transportation, and all the rest will just have to crumble. What we DO have money for is the construction of a massive wall along the US-Mexican border, patrolled 24 hours a day by minimum-wage private contractors with assault rifles. Lovely.

While I am opposed on principle to dividing countries by a wall – Do we fear an invasion by the Visigoths? What is wrong with us? – I wouldn’t be quite so scathing if Republicans had a plan in place to finance such a project. They don’t, of course, because the right wing is waging war on revenue. Not corporate revenue, which should of course should be maximized. Greed is good. No, the real problem is government revenue, because that has to come from taxes, which are evil. How Republicans are convincing people of this, I couldn’t say. It seems like such a no-brainer. People who are much, much richer than you should pay a little bit more so that you, working class retiree, can afford your Lipitor. The old folks who make up the Republican base are either suicidally gullible or just plain suicidal. Or genuinely fearful of the Visigoths.

Lest you label me a partisan, I submit that the Democrats are not much better. Both parties seem to have missed the memo on how trickle-down economics doesn’t work; both parties are dragging their feet on campaign finance reform, because both parties are accepting wildly generous donations from Wall Street baddies; neither party has demanded a single-payer healthcare option; neither party has made real headway on environmental issues. Basically, the political system as a whole is rocketing away from reason, but the Democrats seem at least vaguely aware of this fact. This makes them the good guys, kind of like Clint Eastwood is the titular Good in “The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.” He’s a murdering, money-hungry sociopath, but next to the wicked deeds and visages of the Bad and the Ugly, he’s Gandhi.

I guess that’s what it all boils down to: American politics is a spaghetti western, and should be treated accordingly. Let’s stop waiting on a hero and just appoint Clint Eastwood Supreme Dear Leader of the Universe. Stupider things have happened.