It's just a matter of time.....

It seems that Amy Winehouse managed to make herself dead over the weekend in a turn of events that was admittedly sad, but also eminently predictable. Doctors seldom prescribe a diet of whiskey and heroin – although senior citizen, Keith Richards, seems to be doing OK on this regimen – so it’s not as though her death came as a surprise to anyone. If you’d never heard of her before this weekend, her death didn’t register. If you had heard of her, you’d already seen the pictures of her wandering around London, barefoot and bloody with gobs of snot-moistened white powder dangling from her nose. This is why, in the wake of her death, reporters and journalists and celebrities (George Michael is apparently very broken up) have leapt at the chance to say, write, or tweet that, “It was just a matter of time.”

That sentence is actually what I want to discuss. Of course it’s sad when young, talented people die, but Amy Winehouse wasn’t my close personal friend; I’m not choking back tears or having an unusual amount of trouble focusing at work. What’s gnawing at me is mankind’s blatant propensity to spew out meaningless drivel that we erroneously think makes us sound thoughtful, caring, wise, considerate, profound, or some combination thereof. Obviously it was “just a matter of time” before Amy Winehouse died. It’s also just a matter of time before I die; before you die; before everyone you know dies. Yes, the woman who chugs a bottle of vodka before embarking on yet another stint in rehab is probably closer to death than me or you or anyone you know, but if you want to be all fatalistic about it, each and every one of us is a ticking time bomb.

So let’s not make “drugs and alcohol are bad” the moral of the story. We adults know a poor life choice when we see one. Smoking crack is a poor life choice. Putting a shot of vodka in your morning coffee is a poor life choice. Let’s take a different lesson from this tragedy, and solemnly swear to consider the words we intend to speak before letting loose. Is what you’re about to say worth saying? Does it have any meaning whatsoever? Is it just fucking stupid? If, after careful deliberation, the answers are no, no, and yes, don’t pollute the world with your inanity. Appoint Mark Twain your life coach, and abide by his sagest pronouncement: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”