Does anyone remember Kirk Cameron?

“Kirk Cameron criticizes Stephen Hawking for saying ‘there is no heaven.’” This is apparently news to the Washington Post, which is why no one reads newspapers anymore. I mean, honestly, do we really care what some 80’s sitcom star-turned-evangelist thinks about science? Some people probably do, but they should be put down.

That being said, the article is mercifully short, and bursting with amazing Kirk quotes. Try this one on for size: “Professor Hawking is heralded as ‘the genius of Britain,’ yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life.” This from a guy who, at his peak, shared screen time with a character named “Boner.” Forgive me for doubting his scientific bona fides.

Having roundly trounced Stephen Hawking in a battle of wits, Cameron goes on to claim that, “to say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas.” Harsh, Kirk. I don’t know if Jesus would outsmart a cripple and then kick him when he’s down.

I also don’t know if Jesus would imply that a cripple’s unfair disadvantage is in reality his greatest – and most unfair – advantage. Personally, I would probably murder puppies to avoid winding up in poor old Stephen’s shoes, but I guess it’s all in how you frame it. And, hey, apparently if you’re gimpy, Cambridge University will fast-track your tenure, so it’s not all bad.